Every now and then you come across a movie title so bizarre that it both blows your mind and succinctly sums up the plot. While jumping on to Netflix to watch the movie I had originally picked for this week, I happened across this 2008 film that immediately pushed the other movie to the back burner.
Monsturd is just what it sounds like. When a serial killer escapes through the sewers he falls into a vat of chemical waste and human waste. He mutates into a giant pile of feces that attacks and kills people.
I would just like to stop here and take a moment and say that because I take this blog seriously and felt it was my duty to watch the movie in its entirety (heh, heh, I said duty).
This movie is so poorly shot that it looks like it was filmed by some guy with a camcorder but no editing software. I looked up the studio. It's called 4321 Films. They have one other title: Retar-Dead. I didn't have a chance to check them out yet, but they also have a page on FunnyorDie.com with several shorts. The casts are almost identical in the two films (the directors are also the writers, producers, actors, etc.), so my guess is that these are two guys making movies with a bunch of their buddies.
Speaking of casts, Monsturd has some of the worst acting I have ever witnessed. I have to give them credit though; they say their lines with earnest, which couldn't have been easy as it included lines like "It looks like Schmidt" and "Has the Sh!+-Man stopped farting, Clarice?" There are so many bad puns in the script, it was impossible to catch them all.
The story is sort of a mixed bag between the old 1950's radiation makes things bigger theme and the Frankenstein mythology (at one key scene, Monsturd and its creator face off - did I mention it talks?)
In spite of its flaws, the movie is hilarious. It is also extremely gross. Throughout the movie, I kept thinking this has to be the most creative use of feces since Mr. Hanky. Of course, the film makers must have thought that, too, and it lead to one of my favorite scenes. A little girl comes to tell her dad that there is a giant #2 in the bathroom (I'm really proud of you, Honey.); he's watching a poorly animated parody of South Park talking about Mr. Spanky, the Easter Poo, who leave you chocolate eggs. (For the uninitiated, South Park has several episodes that revolve around Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo).
The special effects are about what you would expect. Monsturd looks like a giant, rubber Baby Ruth with arms. Lots of brown paint or chocolate sauce (Monsturd likes to leave pithy quotes on the bathroom wall of his victims).
If you decide to watch the movie, make sure you watch through the credits. Not only are there some funny visual credits (Best Boy - Ben Dover), you will be treated to one of the most unique theme songs ever - "The Ballad of the Monsturd*."
I'm here to warn you, though it must seem absurd
to be aware of a giant Monsturd.
When the sh!+ goes down, he may be in your town
Don't get caught with your pants down.
Don't be a fool!
Don't drop the kids at the pool!
Oh yeah, He's one cruel stool!
Oooh, number two (number two, number two)
He does what the doo-doos do (number two, number two)
*Lyrics by Dan West & Rick Popko
It also includes the line "It's one moody doody that will bite you in your booty.) How can you not love this movie?
Monsturd is not for the feint of stomach, and some things you just can't un-see. In the oeuvre of bad movies, this one will be hard to top.
Monsturd is just what it sounds like. When a serial killer escapes through the sewers he falls into a vat of chemical waste and human waste. He mutates into a giant pile of feces that attacks and kills people.
I would just like to stop here and take a moment and say that because I take this blog seriously and felt it was my duty to watch the movie in its entirety (heh, heh, I said duty).
This movie is so poorly shot that it looks like it was filmed by some guy with a camcorder but no editing software. I looked up the studio. It's called 4321 Films. They have one other title: Retar-Dead. I didn't have a chance to check them out yet, but they also have a page on FunnyorDie.com with several shorts. The casts are almost identical in the two films (the directors are also the writers, producers, actors, etc.), so my guess is that these are two guys making movies with a bunch of their buddies.
Speaking of casts, Monsturd has some of the worst acting I have ever witnessed. I have to give them credit though; they say their lines with earnest, which couldn't have been easy as it included lines like "It looks like Schmidt" and "Has the Sh!+-Man stopped farting, Clarice?" There are so many bad puns in the script, it was impossible to catch them all.
The story is sort of a mixed bag between the old 1950's radiation makes things bigger theme and the Frankenstein mythology (at one key scene, Monsturd and its creator face off - did I mention it talks?)
In spite of its flaws, the movie is hilarious. It is also extremely gross. Throughout the movie, I kept thinking this has to be the most creative use of feces since Mr. Hanky. Of course, the film makers must have thought that, too, and it lead to one of my favorite scenes. A little girl comes to tell her dad that there is a giant #2 in the bathroom (I'm really proud of you, Honey.); he's watching a poorly animated parody of South Park talking about Mr. Spanky, the Easter Poo, who leave you chocolate eggs. (For the uninitiated, South Park has several episodes that revolve around Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo).
The special effects are about what you would expect. Monsturd looks like a giant, rubber Baby Ruth with arms. Lots of brown paint or chocolate sauce (Monsturd likes to leave pithy quotes on the bathroom wall of his victims).
If you decide to watch the movie, make sure you watch through the credits. Not only are there some funny visual credits (Best Boy - Ben Dover), you will be treated to one of the most unique theme songs ever - "The Ballad of the Monsturd*."
I'm here to warn you, though it must seem absurd
to be aware of a giant Monsturd.
When the sh!+ goes down, he may be in your town
Don't get caught with your pants down.
Don't be a fool!
Don't drop the kids at the pool!
Oh yeah, He's one cruel stool!
Oooh, number two (number two, number two)
He does what the doo-doos do (number two, number two)
Oooh, number two (number two, number two)
He smells like poo.(number two, number two)
*Lyrics by Dan West & Rick Popko
It also includes the line "It's one moody doody that will bite you in your booty.) How can you not love this movie?
Monsturd is not for the feint of stomach, and some things you just can't un-see. In the oeuvre of bad movies, this one will be hard to top.
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